Empowering and dis-empowering relationships in life

Relationships are important in life and the world is made up of different types of relationships and the two types of relationships I want to focus on are the dis – empowering and empowering types of relationships and the people in them.

Keep in mind the most important relationship we have in life is the relationship that we have with ourself, and if you can see yourself in any of the dis – empowering types of people remember to work on yourself rather than the other person as the only person we can change is ourselves in relationships.

I am in the process of moving away from pain – filled abusive and violent relationships and moving toward empowering, loving, respectful and fulfilling relationships in life and yes I am beginning with the relationship that I have with myself. I have found that it takes guts, courage and the ability to handle loneliness (though if you have fun with yourself you can never be lonely) to move from the known (abuse and violent relationships) to the unknown (empowering, healthy and loving relationships) but if I can do it after a lifetime of abuse and violence then so can you 🙂

•Dis-empowering relationships
keep you in a state of fear
cause to to feel scared
cause you to feel panicked
cause you to feel afraid
cause you to doubt yourself
cause you to feel terrified
cause you to the experience of walking on eggshells
cause you to feel unsettled
cause you to feel unsafe
cause you to feel ignored
cause you to feel unimportant
cause you to feel that you do not matter
cause you to feel less than your best self
cause you to live in a state of uncertainty
cause you to feel pressured
cause you to feel stressed
cause you to feel wrong about who you are as a person
cause you to hide who you are as a person
cause you to feel afraid to be yourself
cause you to feel judged and criticised for being who you are
cause you to block your feelings
cause you to hide your thoughts, perceptions, values and beliefs
cause you to feel not good enough
cause you to feel that you are not a good person

•Dis-empowering people
use guilt to manipulate
yell at you
scream at you
unable to handle stress and anger in healthy ways
easily angered and stressed and take it out on you
irritable
anxious
worriers
gossip
spread rumors
insecure about themselves
do not like, love, approve, accept, respect or value themselves
interfere in your life
unhappy with themselves and their lives
negative attitude
pessimistic outlook on life
jealous
possessive
rigid/inflexible boundaries
check up on you
name calling
put you down
threaten you
isolate you from family and friends
blame, complain, whinge, bitch and moan
control you
use intimidation to get their way
criticize
show up late to important functions or do not show up at all
rights are violated
emotionally closed or stunted
immature
irresponsible
instability in life
Empowering relationships
cause you to feel safe
cause you to feel respected
cause you to feel liked, loved, approved of and accepted and respected
cause you to feel important and that you matter to them
cause you to feel happy
cause you to feel free to be yourself
cause you to settled
cause you to feel calm
cause you feel your feelings
cause you to share all your thoughts, feelings, troubles, concerns or struggles in life
cause you feel relaxed
cause you to feel at ease

•Empowering people
like, love, approve, accept, respect and value themselves
are happy with themselves and their lives
have a positive attitude towards life and people
have an optimistic outlook in life
are problem solvers
are solution orientated
love and like you
affirm you
support you
encourage you
welcome you because they are warm and friendly
listen to you
believe in you
validate you
think you are wonderful
loyal
trusting
you feel safe in their presence
you feel free to be yourself in their presence
they are assertive
they use clear, direct and open communication
they have clear and strong boundaries
they are confident
they are responsible
they treat you how they love to be treated
they put themselves first in their lives
they make themselves a priority in their lives
they are respectful
they are courteous
have a clear and strong purpose in their lives
are successful in life
love what they do in life
surround themselves with like minded people
love life
happy with their success in life and happy with yours as well
fun to be around
emotionally open and available
integrity
mature
ability to share and express feelings
stability in life
show appreciation for all the good you bring into the relationships
laugh together often
We have a choice on who we share our lives with in life even though it may not seem like it at the time, we really do. We have a choice of whether we want to be in a healthy, loving, respectful and kind relationship or a dis – empowering relationship. After writing the list out on dis – empowering relationships and seeing the behaviors in black and white made me feel sad and ashamed that I had chosen to share my life with people who had no regard to themselves or for me and now I would rather be alone than to surround myself with people who are dis – empowering and I hope that you make that decision for yourself too. Life is too short and too precious to waste time on relationships that are hurting us and causing us pain. Make the decision today to walk away from dis – empowering relationships and make a break for freedom toward empowering people and relationships.

Change yourself from the inside out by loving yourself unconditionally and attracting the best people to your best self in life. Start today to be the best you you can be and soon all you will attract into your life and the right types of people and learn to say no to dis – empowering relationships in life.